Post No. 7: The Other is Good/Bad

Judging - this is what we do because we are human. Once our brains and body have developed sufficiently and we have had enough time to accommodate our various experiences, we have the ability to make judgments like an adult. This capability begins after the age of about 11 according to developmental psychologists. Jean Piaget, a French psychologist in the early 1900s, pioneered this work which was based on extensive and innovative observations of children from birth to adulthood. But as a pre-teen we are like Bambi, the fawn, trying out its capability to stand on its own feet. At 11 years old we are not quite ready but by 18 society considers we have had sufficient experience to be responsible for our actions. For this reason if we commit a crime at 18+ we are liable. So being able to judge accurately is important if we want to be productive members of society.

Our ability to judge has a downside. We make good and bad very easily. We have a clear distinction in mind between self and other. It is easy to make the other good or bad (or perhaps neutral). But does this present an accurate view of reality? This question is important because when we judge others either good or bad we easily treat them differently. When we judge them bad enough, we can very easily justify violence against them, even if we are not the perpetrators.

In Hamlet, Shakespeare makes an observation that appears obvious and counterintuitive at the same time. Hamlet and his two friends are outside the walls of Denmark when Hamlet starts to badmouth Denmark. One of his friends remarks, "Nothing is good or bad except thinking makes it so". As described in the first paragraph, we can do this because human adults have the ability to make constructs of the world, including self and other, and judge and create narratives in mind about them. It is very difficult, because it is so counterintuitive, that most adults miss the obvious: that self and other exist because we can create constructs in mind. I suggest that this is the more accurate view of reality. It is not obvious because we are all interdependent members of human society that requires us to judge self and other, good and bad. But does it matter if we understand or realize this more accurate view of the world?

In one way, not at all. It is much more important to be productive members of human society and follow a good set of ethics. But by understanding the nature of who we are, one more easily sees the unity of self and other, and we are less likely to justify hurting others because they're "bad".

There are also personal advantages to what I'm suggesting. If we are not so wedded to our judgments as having some kind of underlying essence, then we are more likely to not spin our wheels so much and just enjoy our moments, whatever they are. Then we can better feel our lover's embrace, being with friends, enjoying our food, or perhaps, putting our underwear on in the morning!